


gotham preferences!

by gothamsweetie



Category: DCU, Gotham (TV)
Genre: Death, Drugs, Fluff, Hands, Headcanon, Insanity, Marriage, Murder, References to Drugs, Weddings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-12 09:03:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17464535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothamsweetie/pseuds/gothamsweetie
Summary: a collection of preferences to a variety of gotham characters (mainly male characters), such as zsasz, alfred, bruce, jim, harvey and more uwu





	1. gettin' high

**Author's Note:**

> i'm on wattpad as @easterkangaroo and instagram as @gothamsweetie !!

**jimmy**  
\- he's never done it before and he's nervous as hell  
\- he keeps repositioning himself on the sofa and fiddling with his tie and clearing his throat because he has no idea how to relax  
\- he knows he looks stupid but he's trying his best honestly  
\- he takes the joint and cracks a nervous grin at you as you watch him with a soft smile uwu  
\- "well, when in gotham!"  
\- he fucking chokes on it  
\- he's coughing and spluttering and his eyes are tearing up and you're just sitting there baffled at how gotham's greatest cop™ could be defeated by such a small joint  
\- he tries to get the hang of it but to be honest he never will

**alfie**  
\- you expect him to be a bit lost but of course he's a fucking natural  
\- he just looks so dapper and laid-back lounging in the middle of the sofa with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and feet up on the coffee table  
\- yes, his top button is undone  
\- normally he wouldn't dare put his shoes anywhere near that delightful mahogany table but bruce is out frolicking with selina and you figured he could use a break  
\- his hair is all messy and he looks all sleepy eeee  
\- his speech turns into some weird low drawl as he starts to ramble on about being a butler and complaining about having to fold sheets and cope with teenage angst all day  
\- he starts telling stories about his time back in london and at first they're believable but then he starts sinking further into the sofa and adding dinosaurs and purple ladies into his stories and you have no idea where he's going with it at all anymore

**jerome**  
\- sure, he's gotten blind drunk before but he's never even thought about getting high because it's never really crossed his mind  
\- he snatches the joint like an absolute champ  
\- he's so enthusiastic  
\- he sighs really fucking loudly  
\- he's just waiting around for his high to spring on him and he's so impatient; at first he's just tapping his foot on the floor but then he's full-blown stomping around the room  
\- suddenly he can't stop laughing  
\- like he seriously cannot stop  
\- you think he's loud and obnoxious normally but now he's literally bouncing off the walls and causing such a fucking racket  
\- he starts flicking fragile things off of countertops and giggling hysterically as he watches galavan's precious vases shatter on the polished floor  
\- he desperately wants to dance with you   
\- there's no music but he just leads you on this messy waltz around the room  
\- soon enough he's lying on his back in a star position on the floor, grumbling and whining about everything  
\- "i just wanna have a bit of _fun_ , yaknow? why does everyone have to be so stuck-up about it! it's so unfair-"  
\- stroppy boy

**ivy**  
\- a total master  
\- she's got some freaky herbal shit that she concocts in a little vial she stole from god-knows where  
\- it's fucking potent  
\- suddenly everything has three heads  
\- colourscolourscoLOURSCOLOURS

**zsaszy**  
\- you're really not sure if he's done it before or he's just a really quick learner  
\- he takes the blunt very slowly and doesn't break eye contact with you as he brings it to his lips  
\- he doesn't go all wild and giggly he just kinda becomes an even quieter version of himself  
\- he shrugs his jacket off and either rests his head on the back of the sofa or gazes intently at you  
\- soft little smile on his face the whole damn time like he's just _slightly_ out of it  
\- if you put music on he'll start nodding his head to the beat without even noticing it and when you point it out to him he flashes that toothy little grin eee  
\- it's the one time when you can get away with cuddling into him because he just doesn't have the will power to protest  
\- he never really talks but as he stares off into a far corner of the room you can tell that he's thinking about anything and everything  
\- soft little wistful face

**harvey**  
\- "have you done this before, harv?"  
\- "of course i have! give us it here-"  
\- he seems very confident and impatient to get going so you assume that he has had at least some experience  
\- he holds the joint like a damn pencil  
\- "you sure you've done this before? i can show you how if you-"  
\- "no! no! we're all good here."  
\- he's very hesitant to take a breath but when he does he chokes a lil' bit  
\- tries to stifle his cough with a laugh  
\- "see! easy as pie!"  
\- "you really haven't done this before, have you?"  
\- he blinks at you a couple times  
\- "no. no i haven't."

**oz**  
\- he's a little bb who has no idea what he's doing  
\- "do i hold it like this?"  
\- he keeps asking so many questions because he's genuinely so curious  
\- he starts giggling and staring up at the ceiling pretending to be gazing at the constellations  
\- starts chanting "i hate fish mooney" in a stupid off-key sing-song voice  
\- now he's humming  
\- not even to a particular tune he's just humming  
\- his eyes are shining?? they're just really bright and it's so cute  
\- he's a cuddly sweetie


	2. handssss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i love man hands

**jerome**  
\- his palms are worryingly soft when you think about all the shit that he gets up to  
\- you wonder if he moisturises  
\- he's bitten his nails to shit since a young age and the skin around them is always pink and raw; sometimes they just start bleeding because of how sore they are?? poor bb  
\- his hands always have either blood/oil/dirt/paint/whatever on them no matter what  
\- he lovesss wearing gloves and buying him new ones is always the best route to go down when it's his birthday,, leather or soft ones are his faves   
\- you can normally find his hands around your neck or tangled in your hair,, his hands are so big that they would probably be able to reach all the way around your neck swagggg  
\- his knuckles are always either bruised or blistered because that's how he rolls

  
**theo galavan**  
\- mmm lovely hands  
\- they're slightly tanned   
\- average size???  
\- just,,,, genuinely pleasing  
\- much bigger than yours  
\- i mean his hands look lovely but they have _evil_ _intentions_ _™_

**jervis**  
\- his hands are noticeably feminine and delicate uwu  
\- his nails are really nice?? they're not really long but just,, nicely shaped  
\- nimble as fuck  
\- he likes taking apart his pocket watch and putting it back together again and tries to do it faster and faster each time with those cute little fingers

 

**victor fries**  
\- really fucking cold  
\- obviously  
\- normally he has his suit on so you don't get to see his hands often :(  
\- but his fingers are really long and pale?? with prominent knuckles n shit  
\- piano fingers to the max  
\- but before he was mr. freeze his hands were always slightly cold anyway  
\- makes you shiver everytime he touches you uwu

 

**victor zsasz**  
\- he likes wearing gloves too!! black leather ones are neat  
\- massive fucking hands  
\- he could cover your whole face with his hand lmao  
-  his forearms are great too with all the scars on them jesus fuck  
\- he has quick fingers;))) from handling guns all the time yum  
\- his fingers always find their way to your fucking food and steals all of it no matter how many times you tell him not to  
\- he's found a new hobby of flashing gang symbols at you from across the room with a completely straight face  
\- mmm his fucking rings don't get me started on those rings,, they're gems from heaven that glimmer and sparkle yummyyyy  
\- twirls his guns around if he's feeling flamboyant enough 

 

**maroni**  
\- bit rapey  
\- pats and squeezes your leg  
\- he's got so many gold rings my god  
\- points at you as he talks

 

**ozzie**  
\- most of the time his hands are slightly trembling :(  
\- obv quite pale  
\- his nails are actually quite sharp? ow  
\- he has quite small hands because he's a small boy  
\- he likes to hold your hand a lot unless he's in a rage then he'll just clutch at your forearm/wrist/shoulder really tightly and then apologise about it later  
\- he should be playing the violin or some shit with those lovely fingers

 

**jim**  
\- basic man hands™ tbh  
\- normally clasped around a glass of alcohol ayyyy  
\- his hands are p large compared to yours which is nice  
\- he has quite calloused palms because of all the crusty work he has to do for the gcpd ew  
\- he likes running his hands along your arms because it soothes him :)  
\- he has cute little blonde-ish hairs on the backs of his fingers and hands  
\- he has a super flashy silver watch on his wrist that you gave him as an anniversary present one time and he cherishes it as if it was his own child  
\- his hands are normally rubbing his temples or eyes because he's so damn stressed all the time,, back rubs are a must for him

  
**harv**  
\- rough and dry as fuck  
\- average size i guess  
\- i mean they're gentle but fucking dry  
\- please tell him to moisturise them  
\- please he's flaking away as we speak

 **alfie**  
\- kinda rough like harvey's but not bone dry which is nice  
\- i mean he's got p manly hands but he can fold a napkin like it's nobody's business  
\- he squeezes your shoulder uwu  
\- when he clasps his hands together behind his back?? that's a yes from me

**brucey**  
\- really perfect hands  
\- no cuts or scratches or anything just perfect damn hands  
\- unless he's feeling entitled to save the city all by himself then yeah his knuckles are p red and blistered :(  
\- they're quite an average size and they're perfect for hand holding  
\- his hands run through his hair when he's stressed out  
\- and his hands run through your hair when he's calm   
\- nails are super nice,, they're quite plain but just,, pleasing

 

**ed**  
\- his hands and fingers are a perfect mix of long and manly(??)  
\- like they're p big and his fingers are quite long but it looks proportionate,, yaknow he doesn't have bloody great alien hands  
\- he fidgets with his hands when he's under pressure or nervous,, if he has a pencil in his hand he'll start tapping it on the nearest surface no matter how noisy it gets  
\- he likes doing jazz hands and wiggling his fingers about


	3. wedding bells!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ding dong

**jervis**  
\- it's fucking steampunk and you know it  
\- he's wearing a vintage ass looking brown tailcoat with a matching waistcoat and a white shirt with a cute little red ribbon bow tie kinda thing idek  
\- uwu he's got a long red feather in his top hat  
\- cream flowers  
\- it's a god damn tea party  
\- delicate china cups and saucers  
\- syrup sponge cake  
\- his vows fucking rhyme   
\- what else can you expect from him   
\- staring right into his rich brown eyes as he tightly holds your hands?? as if he never wants to let go??  
\- he will never let go of you and that is a promise

 **jim**  
\- kinda conventional tbh  
\- his suit is super crisp and kinda tight which is a damn sight to behold  
\- he has a big dopey grin on his face the entire time as if he's thinking "i can't believe i'm this lucky"  
\- holding the knife when you cut the massive white wedding cake with his big ass hands over your own  
\- harvey is obviously the best man but he gets completely fucking blind drunk and dances like a mad lad in the middle of the floor and almost topples over every three seconds  
\- your first dance is what dreams are made of but after that he starts doing dad dances with harvey and they look so fucking stupid but yaknow,,, those are your boys and you can never be too mad at them

 **jerome**  
\- it has a vegas wedding vibe  
\- yaknow it's super quick and the atmosphere is impatient like you just wanna,,, get,,, outta,,, there  
\- you've definitely got a knife strapped to your thigh  
\- the only guests are sniffling hostages which you and jerome tied to the front row of chairs after letting them bleed for a lil' bit  
\- there's blood on both of you and splattered on his cheek  
\- the priest is fucking shitting himself  
\- gummy haribo rings  
\- one of the hostages fucking dies in the middle of the ceremony  
-  jerome rolls his eyes and tuts  
\- "well that's _rude_ "  
\- he starts giggling as the priest stutters on and on and oN  
\- he throws his head back and he's laughing so fucking loudly but when he says "i do" his eyes meet yours from under his brow and his face completely stills and his voice is low and quiet  
\- then he starts cackling again  
\- you've said your vows and it's nearly over and jerome is itching to just fucking leaveee  
\- "stick it, fatso!"  
\- he shoots the fucking priest  
\- suddenly he's bounding down the aisle dragging you behind him as the priest collapses into the balloon arch  
\- no cake? no problem! smash a bakery window and grab a handful of that shit right out of the display and shove it in each other's mouths   
\- raiding party shops and pouring glitter into each other's hair and shooting at balloon displays  
\- google the definition of mayhem and it's this wedding

**zsaszy**  
\- there's not really a wedding as such  
\- it's like 3am and you're both out on a hit for falcone  
\- you're taking a shot at the target and your face is half shadowed in the light of the street lamp and your hair is clinging to your forehead and he looks at you?? and something is just kinda?? there?? he just has to tie that shit down  
\- he lurches forward before he can stop himself and grabs your wrist  
\- "marry me"  
\- it's not even a question it's a command  
\- "yeah alright"  
\- he flashes you a grin before shooting the target in the head in one move  
\- and that's it  
\- like yeah there's some paperwork you're going to have to fill out and there's going to have to be some rings but that's it that's enough for him  
\- best. wedding. ever.

 

**alfred**   
\- it's classy but it's not over the top  
\- mmm a big white vintage car with ribbons  
\- he's wearing a three piece suit with a matching gold tie and pocket square   
\- his voice when he says "i do"?? that gravelly ass english voice?? my god  
\- bruce is sitting in the front row next to selina  
\- you're like an embarrassing relative to him saying "you're next!" and deliberately throwing the bouquet at selina  
\- ooooooh imagine alfred holding a champagne flute with a happy little smile on his face uwu  
\- earl grey buttercream icing on the cake lmao

 

**oswaldymandias**  
\- the wedding looks slightly gothic but not really ugly,, just greys/blacks/soft whites/lilacs  
\- he sneaks small glances at you all the way through the vows   
\- he's wearing his best tailcoat and his eyes are all sparkly :)  
\- looking down at your hands in his and you can see his cute little penguin stance oh my god  
\- he's,, so,, soft  
\- he invites jim and he pops by with the most dead expression on his face   
\- butch is trying to pretend that he's not enjoying himself  
\- but just imagine oz's little face and watery eyes as his mother sits in the nearest seat with her hands clasped together and the happiest expression on her face as she audibly coos at how lovely you both look   
\- feeding each other cake on silver forks   
\- the whole wedding is just so sickly sweet and it's so cute and just omg he's to die for


	4. home life :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> livin'

**jerome** **!**  
\- by home we're talking about galavan's penthouse  
\- dangerously fast piggy back rides around the corridors and almost crashing into the walls when you rush around corners   
\- the others in the maniax gang™ get so pissed over your constant shrieking and laughing,, especially greenwood   
\- throwing popcorn in the air for him to catch in his mouth at increasingly impossible distances  
\- one time you threw it from the other end of the room and he fuCKING CAUGHT IT IN HIS MOUTH and he started yelling and screaming in triumph   
\- endless fucking  
\- i mean what  
\- creepy galavan touching your shoulders  
\- stealing tabitha's whip to spice up the endless fucking  
\- you comb his hair in the morning as he hums and closes his eyes  
\- you're like his mother to him sometimes i swear,, he deserves it  
\- play fighting with swords and pinning each other against the wall and it gradually gets a bit too real and someone ends up bleeding  
\- galavan tries to explain something to the group and you make eye contact with jerome as he's speaking and somehow one thing leads to another and you're furiously and tbh messily making out with each other in front of everyone until tabitha has to peel you apart  
\- food fights  
\- picking on greenwood together :)  
\- playing dares with the rest of the maniax and jerome always wins otherwise he'll be stroppy for the rest of the day

 **zsaszzsaszzsazaszazaz**  
\- a typical interaction is you're sitting in the kitchen and zsasz silently wanders in, butters a slice of bread and then just walks back into the next room again with it in his mouth  
\- rubbing his shoulders in the evening  
\- sitting between his legs with your back against his chest as you watch tv or something  
\- a lot of the time zsasz climbs through the window in the early hours of the morning with blood all down him and he gets it all over the floor ew  
\- you can normally find him just standing in the middle of the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal  
\- he blares disco music on loud speakers  
\- it's like living with a teenager,, he's always either horny, moody or hungry  
\- he'll throw stuff around the room like cushions or the tv remote if his hit gets called off or he messes up on the job  
\- eating takeaways cross-legged on the sofa together

 **theo** **galabanter**  
\- mmm fuck straightening his suits for him before interviews as he stands in front of the mirror   
\- you make him breakfast sometimes uwu  
\- he has blue and white stripey pyjamas and that's a fact  
\- just imagine his messy morning hair oofofofofooffofuck  
\- you have made a hobby out of watching him sort out his cuffs and sleeves as he stands in front of the mirror idek it's just hot  
\- sorting out stray bits of his hair  
\- you have to deal with the maniax like they're your kids,,, diffusing tantrums, dealing with massive egos and all that  
\- alright so a standard evening is you both sitting on the sofa with a glass of red wine just talking and oh shit his top button is undone and oh shiT his voice is all low fuckckckck

 **the wonderful wizard of oswald**  
\- he's such a sub lmao  
\- and he's definitely a little spoon  
\- he likes to lie next to you with your arm around him as you curl a lock of his hair and hum songs to him  
\- he has nightmares and a lot of the time they're not too bad  
\- but sometimes his nightmares are so bad that he shakes in his sleep and he cries and you have to hug him and shush him  
\- you love his mother and his mother loves you so it's just so good  
\- you and oswald visit her every week and have dinner with her and it's just so sweet and pure and so special to oz  
\- sometimes he's in a pissy mood and yells and stomps around  
\- you know he's not angry at you and you try your best to do something nice for him or calm him down  
\- having dinner with him at the lounge uwuuuu with candles and baskets of bread and soft music  
\- i mean zsasz always interrupts the mood by saying something stupid or stealing some of the food but tbh nothing can really spoil dinner with oz


	5. habits :):

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bad(ish) habits of some of the boys

****

**zsaszu**  
\- he has quite a handful of habits  
\- i mean as well as somehow eating the vast majority of your food  
\- it doesn't make any sense because some days you don't even see him eat at all and it's fucking worrying  
\- but then on other days every single cabinet in your kitchen has been stripped bAre by his greedy lil' fingers  
\- his fast metabolism is the subject of envy for anyone in gotham  
\- another habit he has is just leaving the house in absolute silence  
\- for example you'll be in the living room and he'll be in the kitchen eating and you'll hear him pick up his phone and within a minute he'll have walked into the living room, picked up the rest of his guns and shut the front door behind him as he leaves without a word  
\- i mean obviously you know that he's going out on a hit but honestly he just ups and leaves because he's so used to not having anyone around him :):  
\- he doesn't even realise that he's done it until he's on his way back but when he comes through the door again a couple of hours later he just wipes his boots on the mat and apologises quietly  
\- victor also has a habit of mumbling in his sleep  
\- for a man of few words he sure does say a fucking lot in the early hours of the morning  
\- you can't even decipher what he's saying it's just incoherent muttering but it's quite cute really,, at least you know that he hasn't bloody died because he sleeps completely fucking stock-still on his back or on his side  
\- but tbh even though he looks dead he wakes up at the slightest abnormal sound,, he is an assassin after all

 **ginger sap**  
\- he has loads of bad habits™ ofc  
\- including scratching at his legs and arms,, it's just constant scratching when he gets impatient or stressy until his skin is red and raw  
\- he pulls at his hair and bites his nails as well when he's in a mood  
\- an obvious bad habit is his tendency of getting extremely fucking irritated and riled up over anything  
\- like greenwood can sit down in a chair and jerome would leap up in a growling hissy fit in a second  
\- random outbursts of cackling or snickering is another bad habit,,, or good habit depending on how you feel  
\- frequent and remorseless homicide is just another bulletpoint on his list

 **alfie**  
\- he always thinks that bruce's impulsive behaviour is his fault and you always have to remind him that bruce has had to go through a fuck ton of life-changing shit in only a few years and that would change anyone let alone just a teenager  
\- alf also has a habit of furiously washing dishes when he's stuck in a hole of worrying about bruce  
\- like the dishes are fucking clean but he's just standing there over the sink scrubbing the motherfucking plates into oblivion

 **ozzie**  
\- his bad habit is overthinking things  
\- like of course it's understandable,, everyone has given him so much shit over the years and how could he ever trust anyone properly again without spiralling into every different scenario of his friends betraying him??? anti-swag  
\- oz also tends to become aggressive and irrational when things don't go his way like the big baby he is uwu

 **eddie**  
\- i'm talking about the soft nerdy edward nygma here when i say that he has a habit of apologising way too much for the smallest of things  
\- like he'd be ten minutes late to something and he'd insist on cooking you the most extravagant dinner and he'd apologise profusely throughout the evening despite you telling him multiple times that everything is _fine_  
\- ed also bites his nails when he gets anxious at the gcpd,, which is almost always  
\- everyone just acts so brash and condescending towards him so you don't blame him for being so nervous  
\- i mean you try your best to distract him but he always feels inadequate compared to the likes of harvey and jim

 **jervis tits**  
\- he always takes out his pocket watch and just stares into the clock face until his eyes unfocus and he just leaves his body yaknow he's not there anymore he's just a vacant vessel™ and you have to shake him out of it sooner of later  
\- jervis also hoards your stuff  
\- he just thinks it's so special when something means so much to you and he just _has_ to keep it safe

 **victor salty fries**  
\- he runs his hand through his hair when he gets stressed  
\- he's very protective  
\- he obviously doesn't want to be annoying or dominating he just really fucking cares alright  
\- he tinkers with his suit a lot when he has a problem just so he can focus himself?? he's just sitting there in his personal refrigerator hunched over his suit just muttering to himself


End file.
